Merlin Meme Day 12: Crickets

Day 12: Favourite Gaius moment

I really cannot think of one.

I mean, I've been giving this some thought for a while now - you can tell because I'm about two weeks behind on this freaking meme - and I honestly can't think of a single moment where Gaius really made me feel something.

I re-watched Le Morte D'Arthur, actually, thinking, surely there was something in there that I would have liked from Gaius, like, I don't know, the fact that he sacrifices himself for Merlin. But even that was boring. Half the confrontation between him and Nimueh is him staring at her with the Eyebrow of Doom. And, I mean, this is probably because I'm predisposed to disliking Gaius, but the fact that he hesitates so much when Nimueh asks him if he's really prepared to die for his cause? I understand a bit of hesitation, sure, but she asks him three times. It's like a minute's worth of Gaius staring uncertainly at her. Like, you've already come to the Isle of the Blessed and everything, dude. Don't you think it's a little late to be having second thoughts? Don't you think you're committed by now?

If I absolutely had to pick one, it's probably somewhere in A Remedy to Cure All Ills. That was an interesting re-watch. (Although it does occur to me that I perhaps liked it less because of Gaius but more because it was refreshing to see an episode where the choice is Merlin or Uther and Merlin's completely unaware of it, rather than Merlin making the choice of [insert magic user here] or Uther). Or maybe somewhere in Love in the Time of Dragons, which I've found enjoyable every time I watched it. But, yet again, nothing particularly comes to mind.

I'm sorry. I can't think of a particularly meaty moment for Gaius (those are the ones I like). I think that probably has to do with the fact that he lacks substance as a character in general.

Sorry. I've got nothing for Day 12.

I'm going to use my Get Out of Jail Free card here. And how fitting that it's on the Gaius day, since that seems to be his specialty.

Merlin Meme Day 11: Morgana's Desc-Ending

Day 11: Favourite Morgana moment

(I'm really sorry for that pun I'll see myself out).

This is probably not an answer that most people share with me, but do you guys remember that moment in The Diamond of the Day, where she's sitting on her throne and, after being informed that Arthur hasn't been found, screams, "I WANT HIM DEAD!"

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

And it's all about the delivery here. When you're reading it it just looks like a villain having a villainous tantrum, but that isn't what you get from hearing it. It's desperation, and fury, and soul-wrenching brokenness.

I love it.

And I love it because Morgana does manage to break my heart a little, even after everything she's done and all the various horrors she's wreaked. This character, who used to be such a one-sided villain, suddenly fleshed herself out in season 5, and it was both saddening and intriguing when that fleshing out only revealed just how far she'd plunged.

This scene is all about her madness. And I might have been the only one, but that was something that made Morgana interesting to me again. As much as I enjoyed watching her slink around with super-obvious evil smirks on her face through season 3, or watching her lurk around forests and yell at Agravaine through season 4, season 5 is the first time, to me, that we get an actual look at Morgana from a perspective other than "she's just evil now." Because it showed that she does still love - Mordred and Aithusa being a case in point - and though her madness is alienating, it's also humanizing, in that it allows her to betray emotion that doesn't circle around smugness or contempt.

I also love how they've set this up. Because Morgana is sitting on some throne in a castle that no longer means anything to anyone. She looks like she should be powerful, sitting in a throne like that and having people (the Saxons?) answer to her. But the problem is that everyone knows it doesn't mean anything, that the throne she's sitting on doesn't hold any real power. It's a parody of power. And that's reflected the moment she opens her mouth - "I WANT HIM DEAD!"  - it sounds powerful, but the way she delivers it, so desperately, it only underlines how powerless she truly is. She couldn't kill Emrys, she couldn't kill Arthur, she couldn't save Mordred. In all likelihood, this is the most powerless we've ever seen Morgana. Ever.

Which is why this moment is all about her humanness as well. Because we all know that this isn't just about wanting Arthur's throne anymore. Arthur killed Mordred, and Morgana saw Mordred as kin. This moment has the grief from Mordred's death - one of the only people, probably the only person, we ever see Morgana care about since Morgause died.

And it's interesting that Morgana's version of mourning - for of course, this is what she's still doing - is diving headfirst into rage. Distraction, I suppose. I mean, Morgana's emotional and mental strings have been fairly frayed for the entirety of season 5 - I think we all knew that she wasn't all there way back in Arthur's Bane, during the "I want to watch crows feast on his eyes" speech. But Mordred's death is the final straw. Any semblance of sanity that Morgana had left - I think we all know that it's gone now.

And while the destiny that Morgana got is sad, I do find it intriguing.

And I do adore the contrast between this final version of Morgana and the one in early seasons. The elegant, flirtatious, and compassionate lady who lived in Camelot is completely unrecognizable from this lunatic priestess, and yet how she got there does make sense to me. I actually buy her descent. And that's why this moment is so interesting and rich to me - it encapsulates everything that ever went wrong for this character.

And it actually made me think about that in a way that most of Morgana's tantrums don't. It actually made me feel something for her in a way that most of her tantrums don't. I honestly felt pure sympathy the first time I watched it, and that's a pretty unique reaction to invoke from a character screaming about murdering one of the heroes of the story.

It's because we know it doesn't matter - Morgana's failed. She's lost the cohesion that was keeping her mind together, and she's lost the battle against Emrys, and going on to try to kill Arthur - she isn't a threat anymore. She's just a lost soul who for so long has dedicated her existence to beating Arthur out of the throne - generally by murder - that it's gotten to the point that she no longer knows how to do anything else. It's been pretty much her sole purpose, and now she's failed and she either doesn't realize it or refuses to accept it. I didn't look on her as evil anymore, I looked on her as pathetic (and not in a contemptuous way - more in a "oh my lost child" kind of way).

And that still isn't positive, but it made her a lot more human to me, and that's what makes character interesting.

And basically, I just thought it was a really good moment of characterization and a look at how deluded and crazy our poor Morgana has become. And I'm a big fan of descent arcs, and this moment summed hers up for me. So of course I loved it.

I apologize for my morbid taste in character moments.

Merlin Meme Day 10: Lamia Hath No Fury

Day 10: Favourite Gwen moment

I need to start thinking about these beforehand.

I honestly don't know.

OH HOLD ON I TOTALLY DO.

Remember that time in Lamia, where, after a few days of being pushed aside and belittled and, if you're Merlin, almost killed, by the knights because of the Lamia, they're in the abandoned castle thingy. Merlin is getting attacked by the monster. And Gwen goes berserk. "STAY AWAY FROM HIM!"

Apologies for the hyper-edited screencap, but it was too dark to even see anything with the original lighting.

I have a weakness for the Lamia episode, despite most calling it probably the weakest episode of season 4.

I like this episode, and I love Gwen throughout this episode, and this moment is everything.

Because this is the perfect example of Gwen being fiercely loyal and kind in a way that has another awesome element of her defying expectations - in this case, because she's a decent fighter, something which Arthur apparently doesn't remember from The Moment of Truth.

And Gwen is all about defying expectations, if usually not in this way. Firstly because she has a way of telling Arthur what he needs to hear instead of what he wants to - one of the only people who properly do. Secondly, because of her surprisingly wise counsel concerning affairs that, by rights, she shouldn't really know anything about - think The Darkest Hour, when Agravaine actually takes her advice regarding letting people in or not. Gwen has been defying expectations for a long time, but usually it's about the things she says. This is the first time she does so so blatantly, and also the first time that it specifically puts her outside the idea that she's valuable for purely counselling purposes. (And Arthur later remarks that she was equal to one of his knights.)

Also, this is one of the few "favourite character moments" that I like not only despite the fact that it involves another character, but also because it does - Gwen's arc is all about other people, and how she treats them, and her defense of Merlin is a great reflection of that. Not only because it shows her kindness and loyalty, but because it completely contrasts how other people have been treating Merlin and her for the entire episode.

As you'll know if you've seen the episode, the knights get basically brainwashed by the Lamia, and everyone's affected except Gwen and Merlin. Gwen, presumably, because she's a woman, and Merlin because he has magic, I guess? Anyway, where the knights had previously been defending and respecting Merlin and Gwen, suddenly they're belittling and threatening them. (And it's another testament to Gwen's ability to sense the atmosphere, because she keeps quiet where Merlin keeps trying to convince the knights and gets in even more trouble). Gwen watches this, and obviously her frustration is building up when the two of them keep not being heard, but because she is smart, she keeps quiet so as not to make it worse.

But when that freaking octopus creature is attacking Merlin, she lets out all her frustration in a moment that is so selfless and loyal and fierce and Gwen. And I cheer.

Because, see, when it gets down to it, Gwen is a protector. Whether it's The Darkest Hour and she's protecting the people from the Dorocha, or it's The Witchfinder and she's protecting Gaius, or The Castle of Fyrien and she's protecting her brother, or The Poisoned Chalice and she's protecting/tending to Merlin, or this episode, where she is first protecting the villagers, then Lamia herself, and then Merlin. Gwen is about protecting people, and usually she's able to do that in subtler ways, but that doesn't work here. And it's never been pointed out so blatantly before now that Gwen isn't just about smarts, but also very very much about heart.

The other thing is that Gwen is starting to catch on to Merlin here. It's a bit of a shame that it's never properly brought up again, actually, because Gwen definitely knows that there's something up with Merlin. Think of the line, "It's the way she looks at you, Merlin. As if you were the enemy." She's a half-step away from figuring it out, and I wouldn't be surprised if Gwen had already begun to draw her own conclusions.

But she still jumps to defend Merlin, and very passionately so. Because Gwen is loyal, and this is Merlin, and it doesn't matter if there's something up with him because Gwen's instincts are all about being a fierce and protective friend and it's wonderful.

On a shallower note, Gwen is a badass. Even Arthur, in his own way, is like "Damn, my girlfriend's a badass." Gwen doesn't fight very often - I think it happened in three episodes through the series - but she's actually competent at it, in a way that even Merlin isn't, and that's just a nice thing to see on a show where one of the main characters (Arthur) spends so much time saying things like "Don't be such a girl."

Basically this moment represents everything I love about Gwen. And it had a bit of a girl power element to it without it being just for the sake of girl power - it had emotional weight behind it. And I just really loved this moment a lot. Gwen is my hero.

Super Quick

So the meme's being postponed just slightly. Real life has started again, school's up and running, and I'm having trouble regaining that balancing act that I so took for granted these past months. I swear, I've never been more exhausted in my life.

 So, yes, a couple of my Merlin meme posts are late. But I promise that I'll work on catching up, meaning that you'll probably get more than one post per day until I do. And that'll be fun, right?

I just really need sleep.

Merlin Meme Day 9: Heralding a New Age

Day 9: Favourite Arthur moment

Yeah, this is where I have trouble. Not because he doesn't have good moments, but because it's hard to pinpoint one that I think of as the quintessential Arthur-made-me-feel-something moment. Only that it was probably in season 4.

Hm. I dunno.

I'm going to go with that bit in A Herald of a New Age. I think we all know what bit I'm talking about. Where Arthur pours his heart out to a possessed Elyan. Where Arthur thinks he's about to be executed by a vengeful ghost and ends up being forgiven.

I remember finding this whole moment incredibly surprising when I first watched it, and the reason for that is because this reveals a nature about Arthur that we haven't really seen in the past, at least, not in this much depth.

First of all: again, context is important. For the entire episode, the people around Arthur (and we, as the audience) have been led to believe that the massacre that happened in that spot with all the flags was Uther's doing. It's very much something Uther would do, after all. The revelation that it was not Uther's order but Arthur's puts the entire thing in a new light. He talks about trying to impress his father, trying to prove himself to his men. Which are both understandable, considering Arthur's complicated relationship with, well, most of the world, but doesn't in any way excuse him. The acts committed here are implied to be completely irredeemable.

And what struck me was that Arthur knows that. He mentions these pieces of his perspective, but only weakly, and the desperation with which he says them shows that he knows that it excuses nothing.

It's also an interesting insight into the sort of upbringing Arthur had. I realize that isn't probably the main thing we're supposed to take from this, and I'll get to the important stuff in a moment, but I found it very interesting to think of a younger Arthur trying to impress his father and choosing to raid a Druid camp. This is the Arthur who equates magic with evil, after all. But he does say that he told them not to kill women and children, and that he knows that not everyone complied by that - probably because he was just a stupid kid at the time, and what right does he have to be giving orders, right? There is a certain mercy in his intentions, even believing that by nature they were evil, and a certain helplessness to stop the chaos that ended up ensuing when he found he couldn't control his men. There's just so much rich characterization here.

But leaving that aside for a moment, I find it interesting that this is one of my favourites, in comparison to what my favourite Merlin moment was. My Merlin moment was all about him returning to who he was and has always been. In a way, this is too - in some ways, Arthur is still the young man who asks for mercy even on those who he sees as irredeemable, and that's part of who he was and will always be, but in another way, his moment represents all the ways that Arthur is different from the one who appeared early on. An earlier Arthur certainly wouldn't have sympathized with a Druid, would probably have disguised his fear with hatred. But not only does Arthur sympathize with this Druid, who has already taken over the body of one of his knights and made several attempts on his life - it is Arthur who asks the Druid for forgiveness.

And, even more importantly, in my eyes, Arthur completely puts himself at the mercy of the Druid.

I can't remember whether he enters unarmed or if he throws down his sword, but either way, he doesn't have a weapon when he faced possessed!Elyan. Then he gets on his knees and makes his plea. And let's not get it twisted - this is not an explanation, this is a plea for forgiveness and for his life. Even when Elyan picks up the sword and makes as if to kill him, Arthur doesn't move to defend himself. He takes a few, bracing breaths, clearly panicking, but not willing to undo what he's just done in offering himself in total humility to the wronged party.

There's just a certain justice that Arthur surely must be aware of in peacefully offering his own life in a place where so many were lost in battle on his orders.

It's also, notably, a distinctly not Uther-like thing to do. As we know, Uther yields to no one, even when they're right, even if yielding is perhaps tactically the strongest way to go. This is the main thing that Arthur understands better than Uther ever did.

And in this way, Arthur does strengthen himself - if he's no longer at war with Druid-kind, at least, then that's one less war to fight, isn't it? Regardless of whether or not he agrees with the Druids, and it's fairly clear that he really doesn't, it's been shown (sporadically) that Arthur does respect them as a people. And while offering himself doesn't take back everything he did, it does mean something.

The other reason I like this above all the others is that it's one of the only moments I can think of where Arthur wins his own victory, and it's properly his. Pulling Excalibur out of the stone is often thought of as his turning-point moment, and in terms of that episode, it was, but my problem with that is that it isn't truly Arthur's victory. The fact that Merlin is stage-managing the whole thing makes it extremely satisfactory on Merlin's behalf, and I enjoyed that about it greatly, but it makes Arthur a pawn. No, Arthur may have thought he won that round, but he didn't. Merlin did.

But that isn't the same here. Here Arthur manages to make peace without A) Merlin's advice, save the constant reminders that mercy sometimes equals strength, which Arthur clearly applies here, but wasn't taken for this instance, or B) Merlin's magic, which, while Merlin is present, he seems far too gobsmacked to properly react.

Which makes this moment completely all about Arthur in a way that most of his moments aren't.

Which means that when Arthur earns the forgiveness of the Druid it was on his merit, and his merit alone.

And that's somewhat gratifying, since it does prove that Arthur's kingly instincts are decent without Merlin back-seat driving the entire time. Obviously Arthur needs Merlin, but it's nice to see that he can prove himself to be human and vulnerable and gentle when the time calls for it on his own account. Merlin isn't just molding him - Arthur does in fact have the stuff to be the Once and Future King.

On a different note, I go on and on about Colin Morgan's amazing acting, but Bradley James deserves kudos for this scene as well. Arthur doesn't get as much emotionally charged stuff as Merlin, but when he does, Bradley James does a fantastic job.

Basically, this was the first time that I felt something about this show that was completely about Arthur. And it surprised me how much I loved it.

Merlin Meme Day 8: The Diamond of All Moments

Day 8: Favourite Merlin moment

Weirdly, this is one of those really specific ones that I know right off the top of my head.

You know that bit in The Diamond of the Day, where Merlin is in the cave and he doesn't think he has any magic left in him? And then ghost!Balinor gives him that whole spiel about how he is magic and he can't lose what he is. And then that thing happens. Where he opens his hands, and the butterfly comes out.

I cannot even begin to express how much I love this, but why don't I give a shot?

So, for one thing, the context. For the entirety of season 5, Merlin has been forced to repeatedly defy himself. He becomes so intensely focused on saving Arthur that he allows himself to suffer for it. This is especially obvious in episodes like The Disir, where he has a chance to show Arthur a different side of magic and threw it away for fear that it would be Arthur's death (which doesn't really fit with the revelation that Arthur is his own bane, but that's just another example of Merlin not having big-picture vision where he should, which I talked about in Day 2). But there are other instances like that as well, and not only in season 5 - the other obvious one being The Sins of the Father. But season 5 really struck me was the one where Merlin is repeatedly faced with doing the opposite of what he believes - our idealist hero chooses to refuse to save Mordred because of what he might, possibly do, and when he takes a moment to do the thing he does believe to be right in helping that "druid" boy, it backfires dramatically and he ends up nearly dying because of it. Not to mention one of the few good things Merlin managed last season, Aithusa, is actually an enemy now. Magic in general, something which is so huge for him and so essential to his being, is just generally not working out for him at this point in his journey.

And that ends up being reflected in how he uses magic. Because near the beginning of the series, the magic truly was part of him, and whenever you saw him using it you saw him enjoying it. Obviously there were times when he was using it because he had to, but not always. I think of The Moment of Truth, in the moment where he makes the Pendragon dragon in the embers of the fire. Or the horse in the smoke in The Witchfinder. He wasn't doing these things because he had to, he did them because magic isn't just a tool for him at this point. He did them because he's passionate about magic, and would find any chance to use it. This is the Merlin who said the words, "If I can't use magic, what have I got? [...] If I can't use magic, I might as well die."

Ouchies, considering the events of the first part of The Diamond of the Day.

But the point is, you don't see stuff like that through most of season 5 (or really, much anywhere past season 2, to be honest). You don't even notice him enjoying it that much in season 5, which is one thing that's distinctly different from the other seasons. It's simply a necessary tool for him, just something else in his arsenal to help him protect Arthur. 

Because there's one other thing that makes this moment great, and that's that for the previous season, Merlin has become increasingly obsessed with protecting Arthur - to the point of it not even being entirely justified anymore. Even when he loses his magic, which would have absolutely devastated a younger Merlin to the core - and this Merlin certainly isn't happy about it, but his biggest woe seems to be that he's useless without it, rather than it being a part of him. It isn't, "Who am I without it?" It's "I can't protect Arthur without it." He puts Arthur so much above himself that it's concerning. 

And now, Merlin knows that there's a battle coming, that Arthur is probably in the gravest danger he's ever been in (considering the likelihood of prophecies regarding Mordred coming true), and that he, Merlin, is far away and unable to directly help. 

But in the moment he recovers his magic, none of that matters. He doesn't jump into protection right away. He doesn't use his magic like a tool. 

He closes his hands, and when he opens them, a butterfly comes out. 

It's been so terribly long since we saw Merlin do something, well, beautiful with his magic. It's also been a long time since we saw that kind of happiness on Merlin's face. This Merlin was always there, the passionate, joyful one - that's the one at the heart of everything, but it's been so terribly long since we saw that rise to the surface. And it's just so inherently Merlin - it's just the loveliest reminder of how sweet-natured a being he really is, when he has a moment to let himself be. It's like, this is who Merlin is in the dark. He isn't naturally the cynical, somewhat Machiavellian soldier that his circumstances have forced him to be. This is how he thinks of magic - a thing of beauty. 

And it doesn't matter that in the next moment he's leaping into action to help Arthur, because fine, that's his duty, his destiny, if you must. The point is, he had that moment of love and joy for magic that he hasn't had since Aithusa was hatched. He had that moment of loving it for what it was instead of using it for its convenience.

And when he loves magic, he loves himself. In that moment, it's like he redeemed himself of all the times he ignored his own principles. Because this was a moment where he was really, unequivocally being true to himself, for the first time in a long, long time. 

Remembering that at Merlin's core, he is actually full of passion and love - that is just really important to me. 

Unrelatedly, the whole thing was beautifully shot. I love the lighting. I love how they've sort of camouflaged him into the crystal cave, colour wise, but he's still sharp and clear. It's beautiful. 

And, basically, I just thought the whole thing was the loveliest thing I've ever seen. 

Merlin Meme Day 7: Mostly Beast, Not Much Beauty

Day 7: Least favourite episode

Do y'all remember that time Uther married a troll?

Yeah, Beauty and the Beast was really not my favourite thing. 

And the thing is, the actors did a really great job with what they were given, I think. The actress who played Catrina/the troll was really enjoyable, and seemed to be having a great time with it. I love the way she'd just sort of completely transform herself whenever she was the troll versus when she was Catrina. It was very physical, and very committed, and I was impressed. She was wonderful.

The other characters also had some pretty good moments, I have to say. The misunderstandings continue between Arthur and Merlin, Arthur stands up to his father, etc.

The thing is, I just really can't stand how it was written. I usually enjoy the show's humour, and I'm used to it giving me juvenile humour sometimes, but one thing I could have gone my whole life without seeing was an hour and half's worth of fart jokes. 

Really, Merlin writers? This was our first two-parter? The one with the most fart sound effects ever used in a single episode of television?

I just can't stand TV where I'm cringing the entire time. I get physically uncomfortable. 

And I'm not even going to go into everything wrong with the scene where Uther takes the troll to bed... I've been repressing those memories. Eugh. 

There's really not much more to say. The fact that I'm cringing the entire time, and there's no real forward motion for any character's arcs, and I can't even think of a single thing that Morgana or Gwen did the entire episode, and one of the bad guys inexplicably had a tail...? Like, what was he supposed to be? 

There's just too much about it that I found irredeemable, and it totally outweighed the good things about it. If that had been the first episode I'd seen, I never would have watched this show again. 

Honestly. How young did they think their audience was? Even other kid's shows don't go overboard like this. And I should know, I watch my fair share of kid's shows. 

Just... God. What were they thinking?